Despite all the discussions about the effects of peer pressure, numerous studies reveal that a key source of guidance and influence for young people has always been, and continues to be, parents. In Scripture, parents have the primary responsibility for the spiritual health of their children.

But as someone has observed, just about the time you get this parenting thing figured out, you’re too old to be one! In every parent’s life, there can be the urge to follow Mark Twain’s famous guide to parenting that says that when a child turns twelve, put him in a barrel, seal the barrel, and feed him through a knot hole. When he turns sixteen, seal up the knot hole.

For a youth or children’s ministry to be effective in impacting the lives of youth, parents must be a part of the equation. Dr. Phil Briggs, Professor of Student Ministry at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, taught us that a balanced youth ministry consisted of three equal elements: Ministry to youth, Multiplication and Training of adult leadership, and Ministry to parents. If any of these elements are missing, the process will be lacking. Even when parents are not active, it is vital for them to be a part of the plan.

How can churches partner with and minister to parents?

• Engage them. Intentionally plan and conduct activities that will build relationships with parents. Seek to get into the homes of each youth or child. In doing so, the church encounters them on their “turf”, and could also provide insights into the home environment of each youth.
• Involve them. Look for ways that parents can be a part of youth and children activities. As a youth minister, my first two sources of sponsors and chaperones were adult leaders and parents. Provide inter-generational activities, ministry projects, and learning opportunities that will involve the entire family.
• Inform them. Information should be provided on several levels. First, make sure parents are aware of the events and activities their kids are involved in. Parent’s newsletters, event calendars and personal contacts reduce the chances of misunderstandings and miscommunication. Second, keep them “in the loop” concerning the needs and decisions of their youth. Treat them as partners who have joined with you to provide the very best for their children. Third, become a student of youth culture and serve as a resource to help parents recognize current trends and thought processes.
• Educate them. Survey parents to determine needs. Provide regular workshops and training opportunities to develop biblical and practical parenting skills to address those needs. Schedule times for parents to interact and discuss common interests. Serve as a mentor to parents, or enlist “successful” parents to mentor others.
• Support them. Regardless of how successful and popular a youth minister or youth worker is, the parent is still the parent, and you are not. Never criticize or defy a parent in front of a youth or child. If there are problems or misunderstandings, handle them privately and confidentially directly with the parent. The most important support a youth worker can give is to pray for parents specifically. Ask God to bless their families and their efforts to be the parents God wants them to be.
• Evangelize them. The best thing a youth worker can do for a youth or child is to give that child a Christian parent. One principle of church growth states that adults are open to people who invest in their children. As you minister to their children, you are building credibility with that parent and earning the right to share your faith with them.  Always take the opportunity to be sure of their relationship with Christ. To not do so is to not only ignore our biblical mandate, but to provide less than the best for that child and family.

The stated purpose for Reaching Generation NOW is to “REACH older children and youth for Christ, and INVOLVE them in Kingdom ministry.” Parents are vital partners in the process. Begin with these principles to impact families for Christ.

For information and helps in ministering to parents, contact Family Ministry Team Leader Ben Phillips ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ), or Evangelism & Church Growth Team members John Caddy ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ), Allison Kizzia ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ) or Lynn Riley ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ).